Category Archives: Interview

Resume Advice After a Career Break: An Interview with iRelaunch

I noticed that a number of people find my blog because they are searching for information on dealing with a gap in their resume due to time out of the workforce to care for family. They land on this post, How to Explain Gap in Resume: Caring for Family or…Coma?, which tells the story of one mother who was advised that she’d be better off telling a prospective employer that she’d been “in a coma” than saying she’d been caring for family and “doing nothing.”

I knew THAT wasn’t good advice. While I give some tips in my original post, I decided it was time to go to the experts for more advice for my readers. So I reached out to my friend Carol Fishman Cohen at iRelaunch. iRelaunch offers a range of resources and services for women re-entering the workforce. All of which are informed by Carol and her co-founder Vivian’s constant interaction with employers and recruiters, plus their own experience as hiring managers and recruiters.

Carol packed our conversation with advice worth its weight in gold, for mothers and for anyone with a gap in their resume.

Kristin: Carol, multiple studies show that mothers in particular face automatic bias that has a direct impact on pay and promotions. Being a woman and having a gap in your resume often triggers that bias. So what’s the most important resume advice for someone who has a gap in her resume? Continue reading

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Filed under Career-Life Fit, Interview, Money, Motherhood, Recommendations, Remodeling Motherhood, Remodeling Motherhood Tips, stereotypes, Workplace and Employment

Interview: Did you ever wish you could remodel parenthood?

DID YOU EVER WISH YOU COULD REMODEL PARENTHOOD?

Are you wondering what happened to the partner you knew?  The one you thought would totally share 50/50 once you had a child. And you thought having a child wouldn’t impact your happy marriage…really?

Then listen to my recent interview with Blythe Lipman, host of “Baby and Toddler Instructions.

Tune in as I share my easy steps to remodel and juggle all the roles of parenthood without resentment but pure joy!

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Interview with Equally Shared Parenting Authors Amy and Marc Vachon

Just in time for Valentine’s Day, I’m thrilled to share a special Q&A interview with my friends Marc and Amy Vachon whose book, Equally SharedParenting: Rewriting the Rules for a New Generation of Parents just came out last month. Listen in to our conversation here and then check out their book and the additional resources on my Remodeling Motherhood Tools page!

~ Kristin

Amy Vachon, Kristin Maschka, Marc Vachon in MA

What were the hardest assumptions of your own that each of you had to overcome to make ESP work? And can you each share your most memorable example of a time when your ESP arrangement challenged someone ELSE’s stereotypes about mothers and fathers?

Marc: Early in my career, I presumed that it was my responsibility to maximize my earning power to support a family someday. This led to the standard male prescriptive to forge ahead with long hours and an unbalanced dedication toward work. Letting that assumption go took courage (especially since I didn’t have role models to follow as I approached my boss with a request to work part-time – as a single guy). But it allowed me to create a life that I love daily. My work focus changed from wanting to retire early to wanting to work forever.

Amy: The most difficult assumption I had to shake was probably the notion that I had more responsibility for the home and the children. I still catch myself stressing out about little projects or an upcoming dinner party, and have to remember that these tasks can be jointly planned and handled – as long as I let Marc work alongside me as a true peer.

Both: We can think of two separate examples that highlight how others’ stereotypes can rub up against the notion of an equal partnership. In the first, Amy was picking up our daughter from Kindergarten in the school playground when our then 2-year old son threw a temper tantrum and stomped off a few yards away. A random mother was heard commenting snidely, “Who is that kid’s mother?” Yet a couple of months prior, Marc was handling the same pickup, in the same playground, with the same 2-year old throwing a tantrum (what can we say – a 2:20 pickup time doesn’t always mesh with a toddler’s nap schedule!). This time, a random mom approached Marc to ask if she could intervene to calm our son down. She explained that she was “very good at these types of things.”

The second example happened when our daughter was about 2, and fell off a swing at a friend’s birthday party. She ran right past Amy, all the way across the yard into Marc’s arms for comfort. The other parents at the party were too polite to say anything, but we often wonder if they thought Amy had failed as the “mother” in that moment. Amy felt a twinge of self-consciousness, but we both mark that event as one of those times when we could say, “We did it – we gave her two parents she could go to and this is cause for celebration!” Continue reading

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Filed under Book Review, Family Work, Fatherhood, Interview, Marriage, Motherhood

PurseStrings Radio Interview

Listen to my recent interview on PurseStrings radio. I talk about how mothers and their role may not have changed as much as we might think and what I did about it.

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Filed under Assumptions about Mothers, Interview, Motherhood

Home for the Holidays – A Celebration of the Heart with a Gift from the Soul

I’ll be on the BlogTalk Radio Show, FMMK Talk Radio, next Tuesday, December 8th at 8 am Pacific/10 am Central. Please be sure to tune in a listen! Click below for more information:

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Motherhood Needs to be Remodeled

 

By Jennifer Gish, staff writer for the TimesUnion.com:

The waffle was a turning point for Kristin Maschka.

As the California-based career woman turned stay-at-home mom found herself scolding her husband for not knowing how their preschool-age daughter liked her waffle prepared, she realized it was time to remodel her ideas about parenthood.

Now, the past president and a national spokesperson for the organization Mothers & More, a nonprofit group that helps mothers of all backgrounds connect and find support, is author of “This is Not How I thought It Would Be: Remodeling Motherhood to Get the Lives We Want Today” (2009; The Berkley Publishing Group).

She’ll be visiting the Capital Region Thursday to talk to local moms at the invitation of Mothers & More of Southern Saratoga.

But first, we talked to Maschka, who has a 9-year-old daughter and runs a consulting business, about the need to remodel our ideas about motherhood and the challenges of adjusting to the role once fantasies about parenthood meet reality.

Q: There are so many books for mothers — career moms, stay-at-home moms, work-from-home moms. How is your book different?

A: One of the things that makes this different is it really treats the challenges that mothers and fathers face today as interconnected issues because I don’t believe you can solve one piece of the puzzle without looking at all pieces of the puzzle.

The other thing that I think is different, and it’s coming true as I get out there and talk to people about the book, is the way in which the father’s voice and experience is drawn into it. Mothers who are married cannot remodel on their own. This is a remodeling project that has to be tackled together, and surprise, surprise, fathers are dealing with a lot of these challenges, too, but are largely ignored.

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Deseret News: Mom seeks to remodel motherhood

Jennifer Gish of the Albany Times Union writes:

The waffle was a turning point for Kristin Maschka.

As the California-based career woman turned stay-at-home mom found herself scolding her husband for not knowing how their preschool-age daughter liked her waffle prepared, she realized it was time to remodel her ideas about parenthood.

Now, the past president and a national spokesperson for the organization Mothers & More, a nonprofit group that helps mothers of all backgrounds connect and find support, is author of “This is Not How I thought It Would Be: Remodeling Motherhood to Get the Lives We Want Today” (2009; The Berkley Publishing Group).

We talked to Maschka, who has a 9-year-old daughter and runs a consulting business, about the need to remodel our ideas about motherhood and the challenges of adjusting to the role once fantasies about parenthood meet reality.

Q: There are so many books for mothers — career moms, stay-at-home moms, work-from-home moms. How is your book different?

A: One of the things that makes this different is it really treats the challenges that mothers and fathers face today as interconnected issues because I don’t believe you can solve one piece of the puzzle without looking at all pieces of the puzzle.

Continue Reading →

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Remodeling Motherhood on NECN

For women who think they can do it all, reaching potential at work and at home — all the while remaining stress free — I discuss my new book on NECN.

I discusses my findings as I transformed from Kristin Maschka to “Kate’s Mom.”

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ESP Book Spotlight: Remodeling Motherhood

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I recently conducted an interview with Equally Shared Parenting on my new book, This Is Not How I Thought It Would Be: Remodeling Motherhood to Get the Lives We Want Today.

Amy writes:

We have been anticipating a new book called This Is Not How I Thought It Would Be: Remodeling Motherhood to Get the Lives We Want Today by Kristin Maschka for many months. Having had the privilege of reading an advance copy of Kristin’s manuscript, we knew it was going to be an empowering and very ESP-centric book. And we’re happy to announce that it was released earlier this month.

Remodeling Motherhood is Kristin’s own personal story of transforming her marriage from a traditional SAHM/working dad union to an ESP partnership – and how the result has given both her and her husband, David, lives that now feel so right. It is the first book we know of that describes this journey. We’ve gotten to know Kristin (who is a former president of Mothers & More) through emails over the past year, and she is a solid believer in equally shared parenting who walks the walk . To highlight her terrific book, we sent her a few questions so that you could begin to know her as well. Take it away, Kristin….

1. We love your story because you and David took on a world of gender assumptions about marriage and parenting and re-wrote your own rules instead. What do you think was the hardest ‘rule’ for each of you to re-write?

I think the hardest to rewrite were the unwritten rules that “Mothers are responsible for and best at family; Fathers are clueless” so that we could share responsibility for family work. We couldn’t seem to share the responsibility even though we wanted to. Over time we realized that we struggled because we were also dealing with so many other unwritten rules in other areas – like his job being 60 hours a week, and an assumption that caring for family didn’t take any time, and my feeling that my identity was wrapped up in being a “good mother.” We had to remodel everything else to get at this universal challenge for couples around truly sharing family responsibilities.

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Mothers Ought to Have Equal Rights

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Advocacy Coordinator Valerie Young caught me my coast to coast book tour, introducing “This Is Not How I Thought It Would Be: Remodeling Motherhood to Get the Lives We Want Now.” I talk about the unexpected aftermath I encountered after becoming a mother, and I offer suggestions and insights for your own transition in this 3 minute interview.

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